Unconventionally in the Naruto World
by OCQueen
Summary: An attempt at humor with a short story about a girl from our world who lands in the world of Naruto in an ORIGINAL way. Not meant to be taken seriously. Not a serious fic about what would happen though more realistic than some others , NOT a Mary Sue!


OCQueen s back! With her first story that has an OC in it!!!!!!! Not including the badly written ones that a tiny part of me still feels attached to, like ones where a girl from Earth somehow lands in Naruto's world. No, not this one! Those were serious, this one is a comedy! And an oneshot since I cannot continue stories for my life. Anywho, a summary: an attempt at humor with a short story about a girl from our world who lands in the world of Naruto in an ORIGINAL way. Not meant to be taken seriously. NOT a Mary Sue!

Warning: Rated T for Terrific, approved by Tigger and teen. Has two curse words and a bit (a LOT) of OOC, but nothing very very drastic.

The One and Only Chapter: Dream or Reality?

I stare blankly at the television, entranced. I have school tomorrow and an important essay is due, but these minute details pale in comparison to the fact that I am watching Naruto attempt to remove Hatake Kakashi's mask… and fail. And fail again. And again. And succeed!

Wait, there was another mask under the first. Damn.

Well, now that the most suspenseful Naruto episode ever (this is what I called each episode the first time I saw it) is over I can concentrate on my homework, happy that the one episode I had missed a few months ago was properly filed in my brain under "mostly useless filler".

Time to write the essay! Dostoevsky and Tolstoy*, what could be more fun? Yes, that was a rhetorical question but you could answer it out loud if you really want to. Or if you want people to think you're crazy; it's your call. Ahem. Back to me and my essay which will take me five hours to write, resulting in my dropping off to La-La Land at three A.M.

…I took four hours to write my essay and went to sleep at two thirty after showering. Hey, even authors can't be all-knowing when predicting their futures!

I woke up in a bed that was…neon green? With puke green walls as the first things to greet my poor eyes? Of course, when you don't listen to your parents and stay up late crazier hallucinations may occur, and since I was used to going to sleep late I was also used to crazy hallucinations. Which is why I didn't freak out at the weird state of my room as I walked to my closet to get dressed after looking at the clock and realizing I had ten minutes to get ready before my carpool picked me up. Unfortunately for my sanity, the closet had a mirror on the outside, which showed I that a boy was in my room.

A boy with unusually large eyes and black hair in the shape of a salad bowl who was staring at the mirror looking as shocked as I felt while wearing nothing but a pair of loose boxers. Of course, the fact that his expression mirrored mine can be easily explained by the fact that his expression apparently WAS mine; that is to say, I was now looking at where I should be in the mirror. I let out a blood-curling cry but didn't faint or start crying like a pansy; instead I punched the mirror so that it shattered and stared thoughtfully at my hand as it started bleeding from a few shards of glass that had hit it. It was a little painful (VERY PAINFUL!), but fainting of anything except shock was a bit pathetic to me. After looking up and realizing I had punched the door to my closet so hard that it flew through five walls, however, fainting seemed like a reasonable idea… so I did.

And came face-to-face with Mr. Boxers man, who I was starting to realize looked a lot like Lee. It's very confusing when he's not in his spandex, though.

"Lee?" I asked.

"Yes! And you must be the beautiful flower of youth I prayed to Kami-sama for! Here to help me win the heart of my beloved!" exclaimed Rock Lee exuberantly.

"Meh, I have nothing better to do. Just let me control your body for a while. What do I do if I need you to take over a bit?" I asked. After all, if this wasn't a hallucination it was a dream. And dreams are fun!

"Just click your heels together and say "The power of youth is awesome!" three times. And if you cannot click your heels three times you can do seventy punches. And if you cannot do seventy punches you can do a hundred and fifty kicks. And if you cannot do-" I cut him off politely. Nix that last adjective, there is no real way to cut someone off politely. So I took a different approach, and took a hammer that appeared from nowhere (minds are almost as fun as dreams) and bashed it over his head.

"May you please tell me how to get back out?" I asked Lee (see, I can be polite!) after the hammer disappeared as I was raising it for another hit. Beating people up can be addicting!

"Just scratch your head," said Lee dazedly, clearly not his youthful self anymore.

"Lee, there's a leaf in your hair." I observed calmly.

"Where? Where?" asked Lee frantically, scratching his head. Ha, Lee's afraid of leaves!

"Put some clothes on before you come back," I said sweetly, waving as he poofed away.

While Lee was gone I started experimenting and found I could make anything come into existence in Lee's mind as long as it wasn't a person. So I 'summoned' my History textbook and started studying for a test I would have when I woke up. I want to have this dream every night before a test!

Unfortunately, I was distracted after the first ten pages by Lee appearing again, this time in his trademark spandex.

"Yosh! I put on my clothes and even made a few youthful maps of the city so you could do some youthful love errands!" said Lee brightly, giving me a thumbs up.

Wow, Lee is capable of coherent thought. Yes, I won the bet against myself! But now I owe her two hundred dollars…Ugh, I'll just scratch my head; maybe exploring will make me forget I owe her two hundred dollars.

I got up, finding myself in Lee's room again. I looked at the papers in front of me and found one labeled 'The Green Rock of Konoha's House.' Poor Lee, first he tries emulating Gai's taste in fashion and now chooses a weird name similar to his sensei's. I found the kitchen on the map, so I went downstairs and checked the fridge, freezer and cabinets for food to cook.

Score! Chicken, duck sauce, orange juice (and some secret ingredients) all added together and baked in a conventional oven… yum. I ate some and put the rest in the fridge, covering it in aluminum foil. But the idea of trying to win Sakura's heart for Lee was really weird, so I just took a pair of scissors and went to the training ground.

I arrived to find all of Lee' team except Tenten glaring at me…errr, him. It was then that I noticed the small writing in the corner of the map that lead me there saying "Be there at seven-thirty, practice starts at nine." Oh, he wanted me to arrive an hour and a half early! So I was only late by… three hours. I guess my mom wasn't kidding when she once told me I cook like a turtle.

But I didn't read the manga for nothing! Burying any ideas of future regrets, my eyes started watering ad I shouted, "Gai-sensei! I am so sorry but in the prime of my youth I must blossom as much a possible! And so I went to woo the beautiful Sakura-chan this morning! Yosh!"

Of course Gai's eyes started watering too, so I discreetly clicked my heels and said the secret code three times, then forced Lee out to face his teacher. Not that he wouldn't have gone willingly, I just wanted to laugh at his panicking over a leaf. Mwahahahahah… wait, I mean, tee hee? I'm not evil, just an innocent girl! (Who is a bit sadistic.)

Lee returned in one hour. He had spent all of that time hugging and shouting. Before I could start imagining how people could hug for an hour straight, ruining the gutter that my mind is constantly in I scratched my head and got out to kill two birds with one stone: stop Neji's anger at me and improve Lee's chances of getting Sakura.

"Neji, do you think you can give me a haircut?"

And all hell broke loose.

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After Lee's hair was suitably UN-tamed, brows were debushed and we had burned all of his spandex except the one I was wearing (thank heaven, I'd rather save THAT experience for a more romantic occasion) we returned to the training ground. To find one angry Tenten.

Fortunately, I knew how to make her happy as well.

"Tenten," I asked, eyes round with innocence, "do you think weapons are better when shiny and sharp, even though it' easier for enemy nin to detect them, or covered with a thin layer of dirt so they aren't as sharp but harder to find?"

Unfortunately, I had doubted how much Tenten had thought about that particular question since it seemed so random. After listening to her for five hours and getting a little freaked out by how lovingly she described each weapon when she said its name, I wanted to commit suicide but didn't have the gumption for it. Besides, I was in Lee's body! So I retreated to his mind while he escaped back to his apartment. He returned to his mind, but before I could leave it he grabbed my hand.

"I hardly know you, but my youth cannot stand letting you help me woo Sakura in silence when I know that under that sadistic exterior you are madly I love with me! In fact, I am so touched by how hard you are working to make me happy that my blossoming flower of love for Sakura is wilting, and a new, more youthful love for you is blooming inside my chest! Say you will love me and we can live together in my mind forever!" he said, grabbing my other hand and looking soulfully into my eyes.

I must admit, in the manga I think Lee is good-looking (yes I am crazy), but

a) Now that he looks like a normal, hot guy I don't really like him.

b) I never LOVED him, he's a character from a manga for Pete's sake

c)He's foaming at the mouth. And his eyes are now red so he's probably being possessed

d) I refuse to become a Mary Sue :shudder:

I ripped my hands out of Lee's and hit him over the head with my handy hammer, making sure it was hard enough to knock him unconscious for a while. I had no idea how to get home so I just studied History for a while, then started eating random food. Eating in someone's mind is so cool! I ate whatever I wanted, but since I wasn't real I just had the taste of the food while chewing it and it then disappeared. I was in the middle of eating Ghormeh Sabzi^ when Lee woke up and gave me a menacing grin before stalking over to me to say "You WILL become a Mary Sue."

What do you think I did?

a) screamed

b) hit him on the head with a hammer, failing to knock him out

c) ran away and hid behind the pot of Ghormeh Sabzi, magically enlarged because I wanted it to be

d) All of the above

If you guessed d, you're wrong! I didn't do b since, honestly, I was scared. My plan didn't work so well, though, since I felt someone watching me… from my feet. Maybe it was a squirrel!

I looked down. Is Lee a squirrel? No he is not.

…

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" I ran away again, pulling my hair out.

"Get away, get away, get away!" I shrieked, flailing my arms and losing hope in my anti-Mary Sue collar.

"How nice, I make breakfast and wake you up for this." A person says, clearly annoyed. And clearly NOT LEE!

"Yay! Big brother!" I say excitedly, jumping up to transfer my waffles from his hands to my dresser and give him a bear hug.

"Much better," said my brother, mussing my hair. "Eat up, you'll need all your strength for your big test today."

I laughed at his remark and took his advice, knowing I would get a good grade on the test I had studied so long for in my dream.

I failed. Apparently, learning specific information that you never read about in your dreams means that you are learning random information that your brain picks out of your imagination.

I knew Gustavus Adolphus didn't sound like the name a king of Switzerland would have!

…Never mind, that's the only one I got right.

My favorite part: A/N! (author's notes) but first…

*Dostoevsky wrote Demons, Crime and Punishment and The Karmizov Brothers, while Tolstoy wrote War and Peace along with Anna Kare-something. Both were Russian (they're now both dead)

^ Ghormeh Sabzi= Persian stew= eat it with rice= your life is not complete until you eat it with rice

All done! By the way, I was lying about OCQueen being back, since I only write one story a year it's almost like I was never here. This also means I treasure my reviews, so please: review!

Still didn't review? Oh no there's a bug on the review button! Press it before it escapes! (Haha, I sound like one of those ads trying to hack into your computer)

….I'll give you caaaaannndddy.

….Money?

….Nothing? Okay, NOW you agree to review?!


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